Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Holy Grail, Jesus. Part One

Last night's experience was similar to the previous night's, though far less intense. Same places and conversations I think, same subject matter, but even less memory of it all and less vibratory sensations.

I did wake at one point thinking: Surely I won't forget this. I should get up and write it down, but I won't forget it.

Well---I forgot. Damn.

Maybe my imagination is working overtime, but I feel like something is going on. Like I'm being guided towards something in particular. Guided towards having a certain realization.

(Writing here without editing myself is far more difficult than I imagined. I keep typing and backspacing, typing and backspacing. Which is against the rules for these babelon pages. Perhaps it's because when it's my notebook I write slower? Giving me more time to clarify the thought before putting it to paper? Or is it just giving me more time to edit the thought? There is a bit more of a gap there between the thought and the hand-writing-the-thought than with this typing-the-thought thing. The whole idea, whatever the method, is to get past the "editor's" thoughts and get to what Julia calls "first thoughts." More on that some other time.)

I guess maybe I'm a little afraid to write about this stuff here. It's very personal, yet in this format is open to anyone who happens across this blog. I have other blogs where I freely and openly state my thoughts and opinions on certain things. This one is different. And still in the experimental stage (as in I'm not sure I'll keep writing in it). It's a peek inside my own psyche. Do I really want to let people in?

Especially on this topic of feeling "guided towards something?"

People might think I'm delusional or something. (Maybe I am.)

But something is also nudging me towards exploring this openly. I feel like humanity is on the verge of a giant leap in understanding who it really is and what it's really capable of (besides unending war and violence). And part of that leap requires, I feel, trusting and owning the experiences we might be having along the way even if we don't completely understand them or their meaning at first.

All through history there are examples of how the masses believed one thing, like the earth is flat for example, and an individual or small group started to share information suggesting otherwise. It usually took a while for the mass to come around. Probably something to do with inertia. But turn they eventually did (but often not before putting more than a few good people considered heretics to death).

Point is, just because the masses believe and accept something to be the incontrovertible truth doesn't necessarily make it so. Although, science--in the field of quantum physics for example--is beginning to suggest that belief does have an incredible affect on the performance of matter/reality which should perhaps be factored in here.

That's a good, if not confounding, example actually. The masses don't believe that our thoughts and beliefs directly create our experience (even though the bible says--the "authority" so many look to--that God created us in his image). But there is growing evidence from a variety of sources that in fact we do. Is it only a matter of time before the masses catch on? Will it help things along if I believe they will?

Imagine what we could create if we really believed in our ability to create anything we set our minds to. It is one of the things I feel I'm being guided to more fully understand. This guidance usually seems to come to me in the form of books. Books that appear on my radar from out of nowhere.

I've been a voracious reader my entire life, but in the past 15 years it's been mostly non-fiction. Not so this summer. Books just seem to keep appearing. I'm not looking for them. Hadn't heard of them. But all of a sudden there they are. And their subject matter is all related.

When I mention the titles, it'll sound like I've just been swept up by the same Davinci Code madness as everyone else the past three years. For these books all have themes similar to the Davinci Code. (Actually, this Davinci Code "madness" is interesting in its own right. And something to consider more fully at another time is: why IS this such an interesting topic for people? Is it something trying to reach our collective awareness?)

Frankly, I'm still surprised at the reaction Davinci Code received. I read it in the summer of 03. It didn't strike me as a particularly good literary piece. I enjoyed it of course, but the reason I read it was because sometime in 98 or 99 I'd become incredibly consumed by the mysteries surrounding the Priory of Sion, Knights Templar, and the guardians of the grail secret that purportedly included Davinci. The Davinci Code was supposed to be about all that.


Like many, I've always been intrigued by the grail mystery. And in 1999 I found myself staying up night after night, sometimes until 3 or 4 am, online in a chatroom dedicated to discussing the mysterious Priory of Sion. Then I would spend any available moment during the day reading all the non-fiction books on the topic that I could find. Holy Blood/Holy Grail of course. But also The Templar Revelation, The Messianic Legacy, The Hiram Key, and any other book I could get my hands on. I also went to my local library and checked out everything I could find on Leonardo Davinci. Got out my protractor and played around with his "proportions of man" study. I went from there to considering the odd mathematical oddities and coincidences within the pyramids of Egypt and Richard Hoagland's theories about the pyramids on Mars. One thing led to another and another. I even made sure Rennes-le-Chateau was included on the itinerary for the trip our family took in October of 99.

Not long after though, I started to feel overwhelmed. I couldn't get a handle on the larger picture. Always in search of the larger picture. So I took a break. (Besides, my family was getting a little tired of my obsession.)

Speaking of break, and family, I've been sitting here for two hours (yes, that's a lot of typing, backspacing, typing and too much thinking considering this post doesn't look two hours long). Time to take a break and tend to the family.

More later.

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